On the outside, you look fine. On the inside, you’re drained.

You’ve got the job, the apartment or house, maybe the family, the gym routine, the car in the driveway. To most people, you’re doing great. They’d never guess you’re dragging yourself through each day. You smile, you work, you perform. But underneath? You’re running on fumes.

This is what we call high-functioning depression, and it’s a reality for countless men in Boston and across Massachusetts.

The scary part? It often goes unnoticed, even by the men living with it.

What Is High-Functioning Depression?

Depression doesn’t always look like lying in bed, crying, and being unable to function. For men, especially high-achieving men, it often looks like this:

• You get up early, go to work, and handle responsibilities.

• You show up for your partner, kids, or friends at least enough to keep things moving.

• You crack jokes at the office, and no one suspects anything is wrong.

• You hit the gym, keep your schedule, and keep pushing forward.

But while everything looks fine on the outside, inside, you feel:

• Numb, disconnected, or “checked out”

• Constantly tired, even after sleep

• Irritable or short-tempered with people you care about

• Unmotivated, like you’re just going through the motions

• Quietly hopeless, wondering, “Is this it?”

This is the trap of high-functioning depression: you’re suffering, but because you’re still performing, it’s easy to ignore or minimize.

Why Men Are Prone to High-Functioning Depression

Men in Massachusetts and really everywhere are raised with one core message: “Handle it. Don’t complain. Don’t ask for help.”

That works until it doesn’t.

Instead of recognizing depression, men often:

• Overwork: Using career success as a shield against how they feel.

• Over-exercise: Pushing harder in the gym, trying to fight internal pain with physical grind.

• Over-drink or numb out: Alcohol, porn, gambling, or endless scrolling to shut it off.

• Over-isolate: Pulling back from real connection while insisting they’re “fine.”

These strategies might help you keep functioning, but they don’t address the root problem. Over time, they actually make things worse.

The Hidden Costs of Ignoring It

Men with high-functioning depression often think: “I’ve got this under control. I’m not that bad.”

But here’s what usually happens if it’s ignored:

• Relationships suffer. You’re physically present but emotionally checked out. Your partner notices. Your kids notice.

• Work performance slips. Focus, creativity, and drive take a hit. You stop caring like you used to.

• Health declines. Stress hormones run high, sleep gets worse, and motivation to eat right or work out drops.

• Isolation deepens. The longer you stay silent, the harder it is to reach out.

• Hopelessness grows. Depression left untreated doesn’t just vanish, it digs in deeper.

The truth: ignoring depression costs you far more than facing it.

Signs You Might Have High-Functioning Depression

Ask yourself:

• Do you feel like you’re just “going through the motions”?

• Do you keep busy so you don’t have to slow down and feel?

• Do you feel disconnected from joy, even in things that used to matter?

• Do you drink more than you used to or rely on distractions to cope?

• Do you feel a sense of emptiness, even though life “looks good”?

If the answer is yes to even a couple of these, it might be time to take a closer look.

Why Therapy Helps (Even If You Think It Won’t)

Most men hesitate to try therapy for one reason: they don’t want to sit around talking about feelings with someone who doesn’t get it.

That’s not what therapy at MisterHealth is about.

Here’s what we do instead:

• Real Conversations. Straight talk about what you’re experiencing, without judgment or clichés.

• Practical Tools. Step-by-step strategies to break through fatigue, irritability, and hopelessness.

• Space to Breathe. A confidential, pressure-free environment where you don’t have to keep performing.

• Rebuilding Energy. Tools for motivation, focus, and reconnection with what matters most.

Depression doesn’t have to define you. Therapy helps you see the patterns, take control, and feel alive again.

Why Mister Health?

Mister Health is a men’s counseling practice based in Boston, serving all of Massachusetts through virtual therapy.

We specialize in working with men because we understand how mental health struggles show up differently for men than for women. Depression often hides behind work, irritability, or silence. We get that, and we know how to help.

• Boston-Based, Statewide Access: Whether you’re in Back Bay, Worcester, or Springfield, you can connect virtually.

• Therapy Designed for Men: We focus on real-world solutions, not therapy clichés.

• Led by Dr. Michael Stokes: Licensed therapist, Certified Sex Therapist, and men’s mental health specialist with over a decade of experience helping men overcome depression, anxiety, and stress.

Serving Boston & Massachusetts Men

MisterHealth provides virtual depression counseling for men statewide:
Boston • Worcester • Springfield • Cambridge • Lowell • Quincy • Brockton • Lynn • New Bedford • Fall River • And beyond.

Office (for mailing):
198 Tremont St, Boston, MA 02116

Ready to Stop Pretending You’re Fine?

High-functioning depression convinces you to stay silent, to keep pushing through, to wait for “later.” But later rarely comes. The sooner you take the step, the sooner life starts to feel like yours again.

Book Your Free Consultation Today